A Woman of Style
Originally published in The Laconia Daily Sun ›
Style isn’t something one can study. When a woman has style, it isn’t necessarily about the clothes she wears, the model of the car she drives, or even where she resides. Style has to do with the way she carries herself and interacts with others, attributes acquired as we mature and progress through life. Most women who have style are strong and independent, knowing how they want to live their lives and not feeling pressured to conform to what others might think, or expect.
When I think of a woman with style Evelyn Westover Millar (my beloved Aunt Evelyn) comes to mind. Evelyn moved to Laconia with her husband, John Millar, in 1952 and it was her home until her death last weekend.
In photographs of Evelyn as a young woman she resembles Jacqueline Kennedy: thin and graceful with beautiful dark hair and eyes. Like “Jackie” she loved sailing, being outdoors and with her children. Evelyn’s smile and manner were as quiet and gently evocative as her voice.
As young children visiting John and Evelyn’s I recall how their home was decorated. Her sense of color and selection of fabrics attracted my attention, even then.
Gardening was a passion of Evelyn’s. During the summer she spent part of every day pulling weeds, raking the lawn or tending to her expanding garden. Often before I would leave for New York she would invite me to drop by and pick a bouquet to carry along. She was an active member of the Gilford Garden Club.
Last summer we spent an afternoon together exploring the Four Corners Brick House in Gilmanton. What fun we had. When I selected a set of six deep blue glass goblets, she found a small blue vase that matched them and bought it for me as a gift. It sits on my windowsill in New York, often filled with flowers. It’s beautiful when the sun streams through the colored glass in the afternoon.
At the Congregational Church, where Evelyn was an active member attending service every Sunday morning, she had responsibility for the plant table at the annual Christmas Bazaar. There were bouquets of holly, arrangements of fall and winter firs, berries and branches and plants. It took her weeks to prepare for the sale.
During the summer months Evelyn was a weekly volunteer on Monday for the Got Lunch program. She was always up early and ready to find something productive to accomplish during the day.
Behind the style and quiet manner was a woman who was generous and thoughtful. Aunt Evelyn never walked through our door without something in her hand: a plate of fudge she had just made, a doughnut or two she had bought earlier in the day, a flower arrangement or just a small gift she might have found around town. If you ever mentioned you were looking for something, it wasn’t unusual that Evelyn would find it for you.
When someone we love dies, it is an opportunity to reflect on our own lives. How do we want to live and how do we want people to remember us? For our generosity, for our commitment to family and friends, for our passion for the arts?
For our energy and graciousness?
Evelyn Westover Millar will be missed in Laconia, at the Congregational Church, at the Lake Winnipesaukee Yacht Club, where she and John were life time members, by her nieces and nephews and extended family and her daughters, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Through her life she has set an example of how to live, with style, with generosity and with determination. To accept those events in life that cannot be changed and to move on with grace and a smile.
If you knew Evelyn, and many of you probably did, please take a moment today and do something for someone you know. Visit a friend who is ill. Bake cookies and deliver them on a small plate, just tucking it on the table with a note of cheer. Above everything rise early in the morning, take advantage of every moment of the day and find a few minutes to have a good laugh. Live with style.