Remembering Queen Elizabeth

 

My maternal grandfather, James Millar, emigrated from Killyleagh an enchanting village in County Down, Northern Ireland in 1906. My paternal grandmother, Nina Palmer Howard, was born in Canada to parents who had emigrated from England.  Since the 1960’s, when I first traveled to London and Northern Ireland, I have spent time in England, Ireland and Scotland.

My “Grandpa Millar” often quoted poetry and loved his tea. He rarely talked about Northern Ireland, and never wanted to return. Perhaps it was too painful?   My beloved “Grammie Howard” also rarely talked about growing up.  Her stories were about the adventures of my father, Ellis, and his sister, Enid, when they were growing up in Piermont, New Hampshire. When I was young and my grandparents were alive, we didn’t focus as much on our individual identities and trying to discern who we are and where we are from.

 

A few years ago, after arriving in London I stopped for a moment and realized I felt at home.    It made sense, of course.   What I had inherited from my grandparents was a British sensibility.  My mother, until her death, enjoyed a cup of tea in the late afternoon and often invited friends to join her.  My mother’s siblings, my aunts, and uncles, treasured their books and language.  My Grammie Howard was as elegant and gentile as anyone I knew.  She wore dresses, white gloves, hats with lace and flowers and always carried a purse on her arm.

 

When Queen Elizabeth died last Thursday, I felt a profound sense of sadness.  The Queen dedicated her life to her country and worked to bring people together.  As one of the longest reigning monarchs she was rarely criticized because she kept her personal life private and stayed above the political fray.

 

When the world was shut down during the pandemic it was her words that comforted all of us:

 

“I am speaking to you at what I know is an increasingly challenging time. A time of disruption in the life of our country: a disruption that has brought grief to some, financial difficulties to many, and enormous changes to the daily lives of us all. …

We should take comfort that while we may have more still to endure, better days will return we will be with our friends again; we will be with our families again; we will meet again.

But for now, I send my thanks and warmest good wishes to you all.”

One of my cherished memories, and an image I carry with me, is being in London in July 1996 when then President Nelson Mandela was there for what was the first state visit to England by a South African president.  The Queen and President Mandela rode together in a horse-drawn carriage past crowds of cheering Britons.   I was in a place where I had a clear view of them, and it is a moment I will never forget.

 

A photograph I treasure is one of my Grandmother Howard sitting on a bench in the garden with her many dolls, all dressed in elegant white dresses. Her family was living in Quebec. The largest doll is holding the British flag, the Union Jack.   When I learned of the Queen’s death, I took the small, dark black and white photograph down from the shelf and held it in my hands.  I thought about being in Hatchard’s, probably the oldest bookstore in London, located on Piccadilly just across from the Royal Academy, then walking a few steps down the street to Fortnum and Mason to buy tea.  Home.  The places I visit the day I arrive in London.

When Elizabeth was twenty-one years old and still a princess in 1947, she promised in a speech:

 

“I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.”

 

Does Britain need a monarchy? Is it appropriate to have one family serving as royalty through generations?  Those are question for another day and another generation. Queen Elizabeth has set an example of what moral and dedicated leadership could be.

Yes, we face challenging days ahead.  We will miss her comforting words and her efforts always, to sort things and make them better.  To make us feel calm and encourage us all to just carry on.