A Tribute to Mothers
The tradition of designating a Sunday in May to celebrate Mother’s Day can be traced back to Anna Jarvis, a social activist. She held the first memorial ceremony on May 10, 1908, three years after the death of her own mother. She organized the service at the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Then she mounted a campaign to assure a Sunday in May could be an event for all mothers. President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed Mother’s Day a national holiday in 1914.
There are two things in life that are strictly personal: grief and the relationship between a parent and a child. All of us have experienced the death of someone we loved and yet we cannot presume to know or understand how a similar loss affects another person. The same is true of the relationship and bond we have with our mothers and fathers.
Sue Klebold was the mother of two boys until April 20, 1999 when her son, Dylan Klebold, with his friend Erik Harris, went on a shooting spree at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. It’s difficult to forget the story of Columbine. Ms. Klebold has recently published a book entitled: A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy. She uses the book to tell her story about what she has gone through over the last seventeen years attempting to answer the questions: Where did I go wrong as a parent and as a mother? What can I do to help other parents so they will not have to go through such a tragedy? What Ms. Klebold makes very clear is how much she loved her son and how deeply she misses him. It is a heartbreaking and important book for every parent of young children and teenagers to read.
So the question, it seems, is how do we let our mothers know how much we appreciate their love, their support and their sacrifice for all they have given to us or, perhaps, the regret we feel at the pain and heartbreak we may have caused them? Or, if we have not felt their love, how do we let them know that we can be forgiving and understanding? Even in the final video Dylan Klebold made he mentions that he loved his mother and father.
It is difficult for me to write about celebrating Mother’s Day because my own mother is with me always as a guide, as a teacher and as a mentor. She taught us, through her own example, the importance of having an unconditional love for all people. We learned about simple elegance through the way we lived. It wasn’t conspicuous consumption that mattered in our lives growing up, it was nature, music, poetry and literature that were important. We feel her love but we also know that she will tell us when she believes we have had a lapse in judgment. While she encourages us to strive to achieve goals, we know she will ultimately be on our side whatever it is we decide to pursue. And if there is a mistake or spelling error in this column, you can be certain I will have a telephone call early on Thursday morning: “Dear, you did have a mistake …” That’s one of the reasons I adore her. For me, every day is Mother’s Day, not just one designated Sunday in May. How extraordinarily fortunate I am to have Elizabeth Millar Howard as my mother.
This year, as we celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s think about the mothers around the globe who are not being feted. The mothers of suicide bombers. The mothers of inmates on death row. The mothers who are living in refugee camps, in pain because they must watch their children suffer and can do nothing. This Mother’s Day, when you visit your mother or skype her from another country, let her know how much she has meant to you and the role she has played in how you have decided to live your life. Mother’s Day is not just about chocolates and bouquets of beautiful flowers, it is an opportunity to reflect on the woman who brought us into the world.
Elizabeth Howard’s career intersects journalism, marketing and communications. Ned O’Gorman: A Glance Back, a book she edited, will be published in May 2016. She is the author of A Day with Bonefish Joe, a children’s book, published by David R. Godine. She lives in New York City and has a home in Laconia. You can send her a note at: [email protected]